California – Part 1: Thankfulness

I know I have kept this blog about sewing/quilting – except for lately I have dropped off the face of the blogosphere because I have been dealing with a lot of personal stuff.  Well, this blog is mine and my life is all about personal stuff.  Quilting is personal to me.  It’s something I pour prayers into for people, hash out the hard things in life with God, and what I escape to when the world is just too overwhelming for me to take any more.

I haven’t been quilting a whole lot lately.  For those of you who don’t know, I am a single mom, and have been for all of my son’s 9 years of life.  Lately his father and I have gotten back into contact with each other.  On July 1st, 2015, we flew to California so that my son could meet his father for the first time.  It was an experience I will never forget, for SO many reasons – and some of them I’ll even tell you about.

((My son and I at the airport before leaving Texas. Yes, I really am just as tired as I look, but still smiling!))

I was having a hard time with figuring out how to write about this because, with 7 days in California, there is a LOT to say, but I want to start with my list of what I am thankful for out of all of this.  Keep in mind, this is an abbreviated list.  There are tons more things I’m thankful for, but these are the most important that I am willing to post:

I am thankful that, through all the people that made the first 12 days of July possible, God was at work.  God ultimately was the one that made it all possible.

I am thankful for bosses and co-workers who appreciate me and understand how important this time was for my son, so they pitched in and allowed me to take the time I needed, even though summer is the busiest time of year for us.

I am thankful for those that made it financially possible for us to go and not worry about being evicted upon our return.  Truly, finances was one of the most difficult things for me to work through, but the provision that was given to us was just beyond what I could have ever hoped or expected.  If you are one of those that made it possible, please know that I could never repay you in the way that it impacted my heart.

I am thankful for a very sweet friend who kept our pup for 12 days.  Truly, I know how much of a sacrifice this is, and “thank you” just doesn’t seem like it could be enough, but she and her gorgeous family kept him and loved on him for us and I am forever grateful.

I am thankful for the hospitality and love we were shown at my best friend’s house.  We were able to call her home, our home for a week.  I don’t know that I could have gotten through all the emotions that I went through without having someone that loves me and knows me – and has known me for 21 years – to emote to.  It was also quiet cool that I was FINALLY able to give her kiddo’s the quilts that I made for the neigh on two years ago.  Seriously, sometimes it just takes me a minute.   And I totally wish I had a pic, but I’m kinda lame like that sometimes.

I am thankful to have met most of my son’s father’s family.  Life is messy, and I won’t go into details, but before July 1st, 2015, I had never met them.  Part of me was hoping for hard questions, and there were a few, but the past is the past, and one I cannot change.  I was thankful for feeling accepted, regardless of the stressful situation.  I also expect hard questions to be asked later, and I totally welcome them.  I can only be honest and hope for understanding in return.

I am thankful for the healing that I experienced in California.  I grew up there, and I never really felt accepted or “home”.  I didn’t actually feel like I was HOME until I moved to Texas and my son and I got our own place when he was 6 months old.  To be honest – every time I leave Texas on a plane to California, I cry because I already miss my home.  Never fails.  When the wheels leave the ground, I’m crying.  Like a baby.  I also cry when I get on the plane to come back because I’m coming home.  Texas is truly where my heart feels most loved and most at home, and for that, I’m thankful to have found my place.  Having had the experiences we did in California, and not that I ever want to go back and make it my home again, there healing from a painful past has begun.

I’ll end my list there for the time being.  I didn’t take as many pictures as I was thinking I would.  I forced myself to stay off my phone as much as possible so I could just enjoy and appreciate the experience and be mindful of my son and what he was going through.  I will say that I didn’t expect to have as many emotions as I did while I was there, both high and low, but that’s why I wanted to start the saga of California off with thankfulness, because, ultimately, it all worked out, and I couldn’t have been more thankful than that.

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